Our story beings on a typical cold and windy night in January. Derrick and his brother transported a shed safely to our home from Pleasant Hope, Missouri and needed to return the borrowed truck and trailer that belonged to Bishop Jarvis. Daniel, Derrick's Brother, needed to return home. This left me to drive the truck with the trailer (I cannot drive our truck since it is a standard) back to Willard, Missouri. Courtney was at our house already living up to her title "the second wife" since she is always around and joined me on the journey.
After we put the truck and trailer in place we knocked on the the door to return the keys. As on other such occasions we were greeted warmly by Brother Jarvis and Sister Jarvis. Donning their PJ's they talked to us just to catch up. While the chatting was taking place I noticed an inch long, brown object on the floor. I went to pick it up and it moved. It was a slug on their light brown wood floor. Courtney, never pouring salt on a slug, wanted to take him home to make his death a salty one. I decided to name him Ted.
Sister Jarvis quickly grabbed a note card, Courtney scooped him up on it and off we went back home to Springfield. The journey mainly consisted of Ted revolting against his note card attempting to slide off of it. Courtney with ginger effort made sure he stead on that note card the whole ride home and joined Derrick and me in our talk of other ways to end a slug.
Once home we came in quickly and set Ted, on the note card, on the floor. But I could already see something was not right with Courtney. She looked at Ted tenderly and eyed Derrick grabbing the salt.
"You know I think I am just going to let him go," said Courtney coming to the realization that she had already bonded with Ted.
Of course I knew this was going to happen. I have no self control when it comes to torturing Courtney. I had formulated the unfolding scenario mentally the second Courtney wanted to take that slug home. I named him knowing full well that it would only add to Courtney's attachment to the slug. For you see, Courtney is a bleeding heart. I knew she would have mercy for Ted since he had a name and spending a long truck ride home made Ted more stapled in her life.
So there I sat with Courtney and Ted, but took no shame is teasing Courtney for her weakness. I fully had prepared to go with her to release Ted, but before we knew it Derrick was charging forwards with the salt. He apparently knew she would also fold in killing Ted. He took it upon himself and in a flash Ted was writhing on the floor with salt covering his body.
Courtney let out a cry and buried her face in her hands. It was strangely satisfying and sad to see Ted pass away and see Courtney's reaction towards it. Thankfully Courtney holds no grudge towards our treachery.
RIP Ted the Slug.
1 comments:
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